Hola everyone! Tomorrow, I will have officially been in treatment 1 month. 1/4 of my sentence has been served! It has been a royal pain in the ass living with 20 crabby addicts all day every day, but hopefully it will be worth it in the end. I really don't have much to talk about. I'm alive. I'm sleepy. I want to play volleyball instead of going to groups. I'll leave it at that.

Love & Poptarts,
Meg

Hi all. Here I am at the library hanging out and getting some info for a report that I have to do, but I thought since I'm here, that I should give everyone a holla. Things at Campus are going fairly well. It is SO much better than Nova. I'm pining off the walls right now all hopped up on coffee. We are never without coffee here. This guy who owns a coffee company gets free espresso so we just put that in just like coffee and make a whole pot of it. Weehoo! There are outings all the time and the people are cool. I am in the process of learning how to bowl--my highest score last time was a pathetic 32-- and developing some mad vollyball skills. I read all of the books that I brought with me over the weekend so hopefully the momma will bring me some more, along with some Diet Coke--the elixer of life. So, things are going well, I'm making a lot of progress already. Right now I'm really focusing on the self-harm and the eating disorder since those are probably going to be the most difficult things to get over. Hopefully that will work out, even though I'm still not too comfortable picturing living the rest of my life without those safelty nets. It will come in time...or so they say. Anyhoo, I should probably get to my studying before I run out of time. I will be here at the computer lab every Thursday so leave me some love.

Love and Poptarts,
Meg

PS. I get to go to the zoo tomorrow. That is very exciting! You really learn to appreciate the simple pleasures in places like this.

I think letting go of my brother and watching him walk out the door to go to school, knowing that I won't see him for a month or more is the hardest thing I've ever done. I wanted to hug him forever. I'm going to cry buckets over missing that kid.

So, I go into treatment on Wednesday. I'll be there anywhere from 4-8 months. I'll miss everybody so much. I'll have Britta or LeAnn post my address as soon as I find out what it is. If you want to write me, that would be great. If anyone wants to give me their address so I can write to them, that's cool too. I thank everyone who has helped me and cared about me. I'm going to come out of this on top, and I have all of you to thank for that. I'll see you all soon.

Love & Poptarts,
Meg

t's easier to love somebody
It's easier that you be loved
You say you want to be somebody
Why don't you be yourself

If you wait for an answer
From somewhere up above
You may never hear the laughter
You've been dreaming of

Now we're flying so high
With the world down below
Spread your wings across the sky

It's easier to love somebody
It's easier that you be loved
You say you want to trust somebody
Why don't you trust yourself

If a wave rolls down from heaven
With the turning of the tide
You're pulled in all directions
Only for awhile

There aren't words to describe how the movie The Laramie project made me feel. If you haven't seen it, you should. I I will definately be becoming more involved in gay rights and anti-hate movements. This country needs a miracle. We are that miracle.

So, my grandpa managed to make the computer run all slow and shit. I swear I'm going to put up an electric fence or something so that he can't get at it when no one is home.

So, more about last weekend.

Friday: Laura's potluck. It was so much fun. The food was kickass and it was nice to hang out with some people from work. Afterwards everyone piled into a couple cars and drove down to the Bemis to see an art opening. I really enjoyed it. The art was really strange, it was found object art. I'm not sure how to describe it, I'll post some pictures as soon as the stupid printer is working. We went back to Laura's and sat around talking for a little while afterwards. Tara wouldn't tell me about my review, but she did tell me that I got a raise. Yippee!

Saturday: TATTOO!!! Leann and I got inked. It was pretty hard core. As you can see from the pictures in the previous entry it turned out quite nicely. Then there was lincoln. It was a blast. There was some drinkage and some smokage and oh yeah we went to a strip club. It was interesting. Not really my scene, but I do respect the art of pole dancing. It looks pretty difficult and I think it would hurt to slide down that thing without any clothes on. Between acts the girls would sit behind us, and one of then was wearing furry foot slippers. It seemed strange in comparisson. Like I said, not really my scene. I spent most of the time staring at the lights. I was just stoned enough that they blurred together. It was crazy cool.

Sunday: Sleeping in is grunderful!!! The day was pretty boring and rainy. I went to the store and bought some more 60 calorie puddin'. Gotta love it. I can eat like 5 of those and not feel bad. Yay! I took a really long nap, like 4 hours, I'm not kidding, and then I picked Britta up. We rented some movies, fed the kitties, and then we all--we had picked up Tristan by this point--went to the IHOP and had a fun good time. I couldn't sleep so I hung out on the compy and watched Titantic. I had never seen it all the way through, it was a'ite. Not really my cup of tea, but it was better than nothing.

Now, today is Monday and it has been hella boring. I am going to end this entry and go read and then sleep. 'night.

Love & Poptarts,
Meg

Yay. the computer works again. An awesome end to an amazing weekend. Here are a few of the pictures. There will be more pics and an account of all the fun tomorrow. Til then, g'night.

My Tattoo:

Seven Pointed Star

Represents unity of all peoples.
Unites Earth (4) and Trinity (3).
The seven elements: Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Life, Light, and Magick.
The seven directions: North, South, East, West, above, below, within.
It is also called the Star of the Seven Sisters. 

The Girls:




Katie & Jen




Aww...




* More Pictures to follow when I get my camera developed tomorrow.

Plans have chaned. I will oficially be in rehab for anywhere from 4-6 months. I don't know if I can do it. I also don't have a choice but to do it. Shit, that is a really fucking long time. I know this is sad, but I need a drink.

Furious Rose

’it’s not really poetry, but it’s pretty,’ he said.
As he raises his voice, she lowers her head.
’it makes my heart heavy, you’re lonely, I think.
Oh, rose, you’re sad, I suppose.’
’look in her bed and she’s bound to be sleeping.
She’s lying there dead. - no, she’s breathing.’
Furious rose, with your opiate eyes,
Your languorous hum, that tone of surprise
I’ve heard energy in adversity.
Your smile: the soul of witchery.
You’re not running away,
You’re not running - are you?
Lyrically longing, she’s tearing the words from the page.
She’s fearfully seething.
’bring me your blessings, a prayer, or a new pen.
- you don’t know what I need.’
’look in my bed and I’m bound to be sleeping,
I’m lying there dead, but I’m breathing.
And I’m barely balancing as it is,
And I don’t want to drown in my dreams
Bring me wild plums and agrimony
I bet you don’t even know what that means.’
Furious rose with your opiate eyes,
Your languorous hum, that tone of surprise.
I’ve heard energy in adversity.
Your smile: the soul of witchery.
You’re not running away,
You’re not running - are you?
Gingerly peering, over his shoulder, removed herself from the room.
She’s terribly freezing, she always knows when to go.